Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how moms, and I think especially in the case of working moms, feel guilty about how they spend their time. I'm not saying it is paralyzing guilt that keeps us from making choices or doing our jobs, but its a voice in the back of our mind that tells us we can always do better, or we should have made a different choice. No matter what you choose, it's wrong. I don't know how else to describe it.
Examples include going to work instead of being at home, scheduling time to go to the gym, using a babysitter for anything other than a night out with your husband, spending money on yourself instead of things for the kids or the house, making personal phone calls at work to make sure your kids are doing ok, and sleeping more than seven hours because things have to get done.
I think it stems from the fact that it is impossible to do more than one role with 100% effort - when roles are combined, and we have to divide ourselves and our energy.
I'm not sure what I'm hoping to learn or find out by writing this, but I hope if I acknowledge that I can't be a perfect mom, wife, sister, daughter, employee, church leader, friend, then I can lose some of that guilt and just do the best I can in any role that comes to me.
I have made changes in the past year to make this happen - working 3 days a week/30 hours and the rest from home, using a babysitter if I need one during the week and realizing I get more done so I can spend time with Claire later on, and communicating to Matt that working out and losing weight makes me happy, and therefore him happy.
So, my random musings are over - I hope all women, all moms, will let go of some guilt this year and just be the best they can - because, really - it is enough.
