Pumping, and Other Awkward Motherhood Moments

Pump, pump, pump it up! Pump, pump, pump it up!

This is the song I hear in my head (thanks Matt) every time I bring out the good 'ole Medela breast pump. I have started pumping once a day to build up a supply of milk for Matt to practice feeding Penelope before I go back to work, and to maybe allow me to leave the house for 30 minutes unaccompanied prior to that. Pumping is important to me because in some ways, it makes me feel like a good mom and helps dispel some of the working mommy guilt. If I can fill up a few of those sterilized bags with milk while I'm away, then Penelope still gets the benefits of breast milk. And then I feel some personal pride when she gains a healthy amount of weight at each check up. Is that weird?

Anyway, that said, it is very difficult to pump when I have two very inquisitive children around. I don't remember hardly anything about my siblings from my younger years, and I am the oldest of 5 kids. I only remember my youngest brother coming home from the hospital, and I was 11 by then. So I have hope that my kids won't remember any of the awkward discussions we have had about body parts lately.

For example, I brought out the breast pump with the two little funnels and Claire says, What is THAT?! I say, Well, it's a pump to get milk out for the baby so she can drink out of a bottle. But HOW does it come out? Well, it gets squeezed (tortured) out. Where does the milk come from? I decided to get technical in the hopes Claire will stop asking me questions - There are milk ducts in the breast that produce milk and then the baby sucks and that brings the milk out so it comes out like a bottle.  But where does it come out of? Uh, the nipple (note that I take no ownership of said nipple). So the milk comes out of a hole? Actually, it's a lot of little holes. Oh, ... neat. 

Miles takes a more physical approach - he wants to be up close and personal. I cover myself up with a blanket when they are around, but I admit that I am not hiding away in my room or anything. Pumping can take awhile so I want to watch TV while I "express" myself. Miles wants to see what is underneath the blanket - and frankly, "the girls" look a little weird and I don't want to answer his questions that I know are coming. He is persistent though and pulls the blanket off - such a stinker! Then he puts his head really close to the pump. Really. Close. He also does this when I am nursing too. It feels like I am nursing two kids at once.

Other than pumping, it is also fun to have your kids walk in when you are getting out of the shower and ask - what is THAT? while pointing to your stomach. I am pretty sure I have only lost 8 lbs 1 oz after giving birth to Penelope. I have joined Weight Watchers again, but have yet to completely join mentally, but that's another story.

The other thing that is really awkward for me of late is that Miles is wearing underwear since he is being potty trained. Big boy underwear provides unprecedented access to his little boy parts. He is constantly putting his hands down his pants and it's driving me crazy!!! I don't want to make a big deal about it in case that makes him do it even more, but I am afraid if I ignore it, we will have some embarrassing public displays.   Also, he almost always puts his underwear on backwards and insists that it is comfortable this way. Silly kid. Moms of little boys - any tips?

And the best, is when all of these moments are combined. When I am nursing or pumping, Claire is quizzing me on body parts and then Miles takes his cue to have an accident on the bathroom floor, just inches away from the toilet (though he is doing pretty good actually). Fun times.

Flashback

So far, I have to say Penelope's eyes are looking blue. But not sure if she will have the blonde hair that some of our family thinks might be on its way. Check out the blonde boy in the back row - maybe she does have a chance of getting her dad's locks.

The Brave

We ventured out to the movies today to see The Brave. Kids were great and Penelope slept through most of it even though it is a pretty loud movie. It's a cute movie for moms and daughters. And one of the lessons? Don't mess with mama bear!

Why Try?

Claire Quotes

After watching Bed Knobs and Broomsticks (Claire's choice), she shouted out, "Good Show!" during the credits. Think "English accent" and you will get how she said it. She may have a knack for doing different voices. She acts out movies and stories all the time, mostly when she is talking to herself in her room.

Claire has another new "voice" - I call it her story voice because she uses it to spin a yarn like you wouldn't believe. She is very serious in her storytelling and repeats herself as she makes up new details. I need to record her soon before she grows out of this stage. She also has a voice for the phone - talking to her friends on our old cell phones about going to work, sending an email, and if it's ok to invite her little brother along to the movies. She is most often talking to Kanda, her go-to name for all conversations with a make-believe friend.

Claire came up to me with a small flip notepad and a pen and began asking me all sorts of questions about our TV, Netflix, the shows that we like to watch, etc. She asked me my name, actually she asked for my full name and its spelling. She also assured me that "we" could fix my TV if it was old and get me a new one, and also set up Netflix if we needed it. I asked her who she was and Claire said, "I'm a TV Reporter." I felt a bit of pride that she was interested in journalism and communication like her mom, and then she said, "Yeah, I ask people about their TVs." Hmmm - market research, maybe?

This is a set of photos currently on my fridge- one of my brother Kenny from his youth soccer league days, and the other of Claire in her first official soccer season photo. Kenny is probably a year or two older than her in his picture, but I think it is so cute to see them side by side. Ken commented that soccer uniforms have sure gotten better than when we were kids - none of the reversible blue and yellow jerseys for Claire!

Claire's First Manicure and Possibly My Last

I got my nails done the day before Penelope was born - a gel polish that goes on like regular polish but has to be removed at the nail salon. I have been cutting my nails back and letting them grow for 6 weeks - yikes! The tips still looked great but they were almost half way grown out. I haven't been able to justify leaving the house for a nail appointment, and didn't want to take Penelope because of all the fumes and such, but I couldn't take it anymore!

Claire and I went, and I brought Penelope as well. I haven't started pumping to build up a milk supply so she goes where I go. She was fed, clean, and dry. And started to cry the moment I sat down in the chair to get the polish removed. Of course. Luckily there was a nice woman there who offered to hold Penelope. I think she was the owner. So, I let a total stranger hold my baby while I got my nails done. Yep, I was desperate. And Claire got her nails painted too - her first time at a nail salon. She had a great time! She chose a pink sparkly polish, and I chose a silver sparkly polish to go along with her love of all things shiny and covered in glitter. Who knows how long it will be till I make it out to a nail salon again - but I know for the next long while, I will be sticking to polish I can remove myself.

We Miss Disneyland!

This trip to the carousel at the Las Vegas Outlets just doesn't compare to the carousels at Disneyland and California Adventure. We went while my mom was in town and it was $3 a ride. At that rate, we do get our money's worth from a ticket to Disneyland on the carousels alone. The kids ride them over and over. Sorry for the blurry iPhone pics - it's just too convenient to use the phone camera.

One Month Update

Penelope recently had her one month check up. She is five weeks old today. Five weeks! I can't believe how fast it goes. I think I am even more aware of the calendar because my maternity leave is half gone now. I go back July 16th. I fear we are in for a bit of a shock when either Matt or I are left with the three kids alone. It's gonna be tough.
 
Penelope has gained back her weight lost and then some - here are her stats:
Height: 21.5 inches (50-75 percentile)
Weight: 10 lbs 9 oz (75-90 percentile)
Head: 38 cm (50-75 percentile)

She is tracking really well and follows us so long as we are fairly close to her, turning her head as we move. Her eyes are still that slate blue that many babies have before changing to their permanent color. There is a fierce debate over whether her eyes will be blue (my mom) or brown (Matt), and hot fudge sundaes are on the line. I think they look blue for now, but we'll see. Claire and Miles both had eyes that looked very brown from day one, so already Penelope's eyes are different in that regard.

Penelope holds her head up a lot and seems to prefer to sit up. She continues to smile often (mostly at Matt). Matt previously felt that he was definitely not Penelope's favorite, but once she is fed and changed, she sits quietly with her dad. Everyone who sees her comments that she is big for her age - I guess I know too many people who have babies with birth weights near her current weight to think she is that big. And take a look at me and Matt - what would you expect from our offspring? :)

I inadvertently made her cry it out the other day - I usually do end up having to let my kiddos cry themselves to sleep a few times before they learn to self-soothe, and it is always a bit sad. But once they get the hang of it, bedtime is so much easier. I was making lunch while Matt had the older kids at the pool, and I wanted to get a few things started before I could go hold Penelope so I let her cry for a bit. Just a few minutes later she was quiet, and in a few more minutes she was asleep in her chair. So, it can be done! I usually wait to try it until I am back at work and am so sleep deprived that I can't take it anymore.

We also had our follow-up visit with the cardiologist this past week. The pediatrician said she didn't hear a heart murmur, so I was hopeful. The cardiologist didn't hear one either, but when they did the echogram and looked at her heart, the hole was still there. The doctor seemed surprised. He said, well the hole is small, but it's not tiny. It was of a size that he expected to hear a murmur, I guess. So now we come back in 6 months and see if the hole is still there. I guess the danger is that the hole lets bacteria and such into her heart, but we wouldn't do anything surgical for several more years of checking to see if the hole closes on its own.
So, if the cardiologist isn't worried, I'm not worried.

15 Days Apart

Just over two weeks after she was born, Penelope got a new cousin. Introducing Beau Erick Johnson. He looks like my brother I think. I can't wait to get some cousin pictures in a few months.

Birth Announcement

All Smiles

Penelope has been smiling for about a week now - it is so rewarding to get a positive reaction from this little creature who has only slept, eaten or cried for weeks. It's hard for me to get a good picture because every time Penelope smiles, Claire and Miles swarm around her and get within inches of her little face.

PapaMayDuke

Miles should be consulted when people name celebrity couples - he likes to combine names into one for ease of reference, ala Brangelina. PapaMayDuke refers to my parents and their dog, Duke. Miles also recently combined our friends' boys names to SorGabe - Sorren and Gabe. Anyway, PapaMayDuke came to visit for Penelope's blessing, and Duke got to stay at our house. I think Miles was in heaven. He would sit with his face right up to Duke's kennel and just hope that Duke would come out and play (never knowing that by blocking Duke's exit he was preventing the one thing he wanted to have happen).
Miles wasn't too happy about having his picture taken. But I just love that little face.
 
Of course we had to take my parents to some of our favorite places to eat (they probably think we eat out every day... well, every other day). We went to Egg Works for a late breakfast and my dad entertained Miles by drawing one of his classic silly faces. It was like a scene from my childhood - Dad keeping us quiet during church drawing on the back of a program.

My dad left on Monday and my mom stayed through Friday to help us with the kids. I am telling you, three kids is hard! And we have a good situation right now with Matt home for the summer, and it's still hard! I don't know what I would do by myself... maybe never take a shower again, or become a hermit. I would definitely order groceries online. But with my mom here, the dishes were always done, Claire and Miles had someone to play with, and there was always an extra pair of hands to help out.


We had a great time and as always, wished we all lived closer so we could just pop on over for a visit more often. My dad took the scenic (and completely out of the way) route home via Arizona to check out a few cities... maybe someday they will live just a few hours away, but I don't know if they will ever leave Placerville. My mom loves her house on the hill, and being outside as much as possible. She took the kids for several walks a day, even when it was getting really hot. We should make a habit of an evening walk, like they do in Spain. When I was in Bilbao, the families would go out walking every night. I thought it was a healthy habit to start... maybe we should try it here when the temps drop below 100. Thank you for visiting, PapaMayDuke! See you in August!

Penelope's Blessing

Little lady was blessed and given a name this past Sunday. Matt gave her a beautiful blessing, and didn't sneak in any last minute name changes (ahem, remember Matthew Miles Hiller?). She was blessed with health and strength, specifically that her heart would heal. This sparked some worried questions from friends and family. We haven't mentioned this much because so far, we aren't too worried. The pediatrician heard a slight heart murmur when she was examined in the hospital. A pediatric cardiologist just happened to already be in the hospital to see another baby, so they came and did an echogram on Penelope. The doctor saw a small hole in her heart between two of the valves, but he said it is a common place for a baby to have this condition, and it often closes up in a few months. We have an appointment next week for another echogram to see how things have progressed. I will report back next week.

Thanks to all those who came to see Penelope blessed - it was a great experience. Matt always does a great job on the baby blessings - something about a dad getting teary eyed over his baby girl tugs at my heart.

Last Soccer Game of the Season

Claire and the Tiger Lilies had their last game of the season this past Saturday and she had her fan club on hand to watch - my parents were in town for Penelope's baby blessing plus Mema, Papa, Leah, Miles, me and Penelope came. And of course, coach Matt/Dad. The game was at 8 am so I decided to brave the heat and be social - I feel really bad for the teams that had later games because it was HOT even that early in the morning. This is why we take a break from soccer until the Fall.

Quotes

While Matt was painting the living room, the kids were playing on the couch. Claire said, "Dad, help us! We're stuck in the mud!" Matt said, "I can't, I'm in paint land. I'm sorry, I'm too far away!" Claire said, "Paint land?! We're in stuck land!"

Claire is a good eater but she knows what she likes and what she doesn't like. She usually picks out all the extras - olives, onions, peppers, etc. She didn't eat the onions in a pasta salad I made and my mom asked her if she would finish her food. Claire said, "I don't like onions, they make my eyes sad."

I meant to post this earlier, but Claire had some suggestions for what to name our baby. About two weeks before Penelope was born, she said, "So, Mom. Do you have like, any names for our baby?" I told her a few of our name ideas, and she said, "Ok, my turn. What about Kanda for a girl or Zam for a boy. Ok, it's your turn to make up a word." So it seems that to Claire, names are just made up words. Other "words" she suggested for the baby were Twilla  for a girl, or Truleaf or Erlin for a boy. Maybe for baby #4? Yeah, probably not.

Claire went up to my Uncle Kevin and said, "Do you know me and Miles are twins now? We have bunk beds!" I guess twins share a room and get to be bunk-mates :)

I had some of my sewing stuff out and Claire found the little tomato shaped pin holder that I have used for years. She said, "Mom, what is this tomato for?" I told her how it holds the sewing pins when I sew. She thought on that for a few seconds, nodded her head knowingly, and said, "Impressive."