So, I don't have much to report on this week - just trying to find balance with everything going on - school, seminary, Claire and work for Matt; work, young women's and Claire for me. I have noticed that I've been seeing articles and talks at church on achieving this balance - have they always been there and I'm just more receptive to the topic now, or is this something new? Kind of like once you get a new car you notice 50 other cars just like it on the road all of a sudden...
One of my main weapons in this fight for balance is planning in advance - I pack four bags almost every night before I go to bed: Claire's diaper bag, my breast pump bag, my work bag with laptop and accessories, and my lunch bag. I try to do that while I am sterilizing my pumping stuff, maybe doing some dishes (although Matt has been doing most of them these days), and planning dinner for the next night. I'm trying to use the crock pot more, and at least plan out what I'd like to make so it's not a rush the following night.
Matt and I actually talked about creating some type of chore chart for us - gone are the days of casual household assignments and just hanging out - and a plan for Family Home Evening (Monday night family time) and a TV schedule so we are really only watching the shows we really like (as I write this I'm watching Law & Order re-runs, so you can see how far we've come...). Maybe this is trying to be too organized - who knows?
Does anyone else employ these methods? Chore charts working? I always thought we would do this when we had kids that were old enough to participate, but we need them for us adults so we can get in the habit now.
Anyway, just thinking a lot about finding balance, and being a well-balanced person... if anyone has it figured out, please tell me the secret formula. :)
5 comments:
I read an article that made the case that there really is no such thing as achieving a balance (sorry-cannot find it just now). Basically, the article said that a person will never be able to be everything to everyone so you'll end up sacrificing productivity on the job for some mental down time or sacrifice in your role as parent because of your job, etc. Its good to learn how to juggle it all but there's no way to achieve a balance at all times. Sacrifices will be made; just have to try to make the rights ones. Regarding chore negotiation - good luck. After 10 years, my husband and I finally have a routine we can live with and it includes a paid housekeeper. Ten years ago I would have seen that as cop-out of my responsibilities as a mom but now...I just want to make it through one more day. Oh! Saw on a previous post something about Weight Watchers...it worked for me. I lost 40lbs. Can you believe it?
Oh my gosh I HEAR YOU! I hated packing all the bags the night before work, and walking into work looking like I was moving in, with all my luggage. I don't know if there is a secret formula, I know that I let a lot of things slide while I was working. DVR is a must (which you already have), and the crockpot is AWESOME. My house was never as clean as I wanted it to be until I quit work...and now I realize that it was totally okay.
Use your friends! People (like me) would LOVE to watch your adorable little girl so you can get some things done around the house, or go on a date. It's hard to find balance...I'm a stay at home mom now and I still don't think i have it!
Wow, that was long...sorry.
Shannon, you are amazing. I don't know how you do it all. I feel like if I can get anything done around the house, Nathan has to take a nap and I don't get dinner made. You are doing great. You can't do it all, don't be so hard on yourself. Just do the best you can and remember what's most important. I should take my own advice. Also, use me too! I'm just around the corner.
It always takes me a good year after a new baby to be able to balance my life. I'm still in the throes of the new baby, and just today I was thinking, "someday I'll be balanced again!" But that someday will probably be in October.
I think you're smart to plan ahead. Doing things the night before is huge for our family--laying out clothes, putting together lunches, planning the next day, even showering for me. I am not a greasy person, so showering the night before is a lifesaver for me. Esp. for early church! As for chores, we ebb and flow. I cook, Jeff cleans the kitchen, although he honestly does not do it to my standards at all. But I need the help and don't have the energy to do it, so I just have to let it go that the counters, stove and floor are still crumby. Oh well, he did most of it!
What is working for us right now with the other chores is that I make a list and hand it to Jeff, asking him what he wants to do. Usually it's bathrooms, which I am thrilled with! I'll do whatever he doesn't want, and we'll accomplish as much as we can. We're in a different boat because now we're teaching children how to work, and that is WAY WAY WAY more work than just doing it yourself. I am lucky to have a man who is willing to roll up his sleeves and scrub a toilet, otherwise we'd probably have paid help. I've had a cleaner come now and again, but feel really strongly that it's our responsiblity to teach our kids to work. With that said, if I could afford and justify it, I'd probably have someone come once a month just to take the edge off. But overall I'm a proponent of: you made the mess, you clean the mess, even if I have to lower my standards. And trust me, they are at an all-time low right now!
Another thing that works well for us is to have an incentive. We get xyz done, we do ______. That makes it more fun for everyone, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Shannon! I'm so glad you found my blog, and got in touch with me! It's so fun to see your blog and get caught up!
I think you're wonderful! And I think that 'balance' is a life-long quest, that we need to continually work on and re-evaluate. That's my two cents.
I went from being a single woman to a mother of a family of 4 (now, with the 5th on the way!). Each day is different, and it's all about prioritizing. I try to remember the General Conference talk on "Good, Better, Best"--and aim for the best each day. Pres. Hinckley always said, "Try a little harder to be a little better." That's more do-able than thinking you gotta get it all down the next day! :)
You're awesome!
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